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Tuesday, May 17, 2011

'Mob Wives' Episode 5 recap: Blackouts and betrayals



THE 'PLOT'
This episode starts off with all four the lovely Mob Wives having dinner and drinks at Juliet Supper Club in Chelsea, Manhattan. We get to watch as Renee acts as uncouth as usual. Upon meeting a man from Staten Island, Renee finds it necessary to immediately inform him that she is Anthony Graziano's daughter. It's a bit sad really.
Later we get a glimpse at one of Renee's beauty secrets: Plastic surgery. She gets a laser facial that leaves her covered in scabs that are so grotesque that her own son refuses to look at her.
For Drita's birthday the ladies head to Manhattan once again. This time they visit the Chelsea Room. At least we can be relieved that they've limited their negative stereotype perpetuating nonsense to one Manhattan neighborhood. Anyway, dramatic music sets the tone as we witness an extremely intoxicated Drita crouch down in the middle of the dance floor. Her concerned friends wonder what's wrong with her and then the episode fast forwards to the next morning. Really? Dramatic music because Drita is drunk? Come on.
The episode ends with a bunch of foul mouthed arguing as Karen confronts Drita about their past. Drita's incarcerated husband had first dated Karen for seven years when they were younger. Now Karen's plans to include information about Drita's husband in the book she's writing threatens to create a serious problem between the two of them. The ladies argue back and forth but nothing gets resolved. Shocking.

THE SCENERY
Bella Vita II, New Springville: Karen and Drita stop by to dine and discuss their past and Karen's book.
Staten Island Special Surgery, Travis: Renee goes in for a skin rejuvenating laser facial.
Nautilus Woman, New Springville: Carla helps Karen with some exercise strategies and we learn what a "loaf of bread" really is (see glossary).

CRINGE-WORTHY
-- Renee's behavior at Juliet is even more aggravating then usual. Her over the top and completely self-aggrandizing attitude is clearly amplified by her penchant for Patron.
-- Renee's face right after her treatment is just about as cringe-worthy as it gets.
-- Since it's not fair to let Renee hog up all of the cringe-worthy mentions, that vein in Drita's neck that bulges whenever she starts screaming should also get some credit.

QUOTES
"I carry myself excellent." - Renee, patting herself on the back while dining with the other Mob Wives
"If Renee like goes overboard with plastic surgery, I definitely would be scared that she's gonna like come out one day and look like (expletive) Joan Rivers or a cat person or..." - Carla, worrying about Renee's good looks
"The last thing I remember from my party? I can't remember. I don't know." - Drita, describing her alcohol-induced blackout
"You're in my house. It's not smart to come in my (expletive) house and come out your face like that." - Drita, talking about (but not to) Karen (see glossary)

GLOSSARY
loaf of bread - the ladies have decided to use this term to describe a particular physical trait belonging to a well-endowed male
come out your face - talking to someone in a loud and/or confrontational manner

NEXT WEEK
Watch as Renee and Carla get into an argument and physical altercation. Hair will be pulled and nails may be broken.

http://www.silive.com/entertainment/index.ssf/2011/05/mob_wives_episode_5_recap_blac.html


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